How Emily and Danny met (Danny's Version)

Danny and Emily-Danny’s point of view

I was pretty much trollin’ for all the hotties I could find at work, school and just walking down the street. I even remember asking a girl out that I met at Wendy’s. Needless to say, nothing really went past a few dates and steamy car windows. Then one day I walked in church, and I saw Emily. It was an epiphany, like sweet manna from heaven! She looked so beautiful. Indescribably gorgeous! My world stopped. Of course, she was seated between huge college football players. My greatest challenge lay before, my Odyssey.

It was months later that I finally found my Juliet. Shockingly, she moved in two floors directly above me. I got her roommates to fall madly in love with me, but her unprecedented loyalty for her running back boyfriend, blinded her to my constant, not so subtle, advances. Her boyfriend happened to live with three other gargantuan football players. Persuading her with my awesome athleticism was not a viable option, nor was brute force. In fact, they almost beat me up once, but that is a different story…

Not long after I charmed her roommates, they introduced us. She wasn’t impressed with me at all! Actually, she was a little disappointed. I desperately searched for a ray of hope, some minuscule change, my David and Goliath moment had arrived! Luckily, I was working at an upscale Italian restaurant, Bacci’s Trattoria. She mentioned that she kind of liked it, so I sold it like a starving used car salesman and left her with an open invitation to a spectacular, all expense paid, romantic ( I didn’t say that one) dreamy dinner to Bacci’s (it means kisses!!! Awe yea).

I continued my not so subtle stalking for the following months. It was obvious to her roommates and the entire world that I was head over heels for her. I was blinded by her beauty, and my love grew exponentially every time I could be around her! It was as if time stopped and I was transfigured in her angelic presence. I would lie and tell her my microwave was broken and eat lunch with her every possible chance. I continued to make up other lies to be around her every waking hour.

It was an extremely hard and arduous lesson in patience, but the day finally came that her buff boyfriend made the mistake of his life and broke things off with my aphrodisiacal Aphrodite. Ironically, he started dating a girl that I was seeing while I was secretly stalking Emily. My long awaited day had come! Could my dreams be fulfilled?

The rest is ancient history! I am the luckiest guy on Earth to find, stalk, and marry the girl of my dreams in the temple forever! I love you Emily!!!